Saturday, December 09, 2006

Walk on

Since my family does now have our own transport, I have been accustomed to travel around this small town of Kuching mostly on foot, and sometimes by bus. Usually getting around places would require the combination on those two, unless there are good souls out there who are willing to give me a ride and save all my sweats and trouble. However, depending on the travel distance and weather, I seldom complain about walking, and I have walked many more miles in comparison with most people that I have known of.

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I guess there are things that only walking could do to you that other mode of transport could not. I get to think. I think really deep and far when I walk. Take for example my recent walking route, from one end of Kuching waterfront (near the Central Post Office) to the other end (near Kuching CBD) which took less than 30 minutes slow walking. I guess it is nice walking along the river, no matter how ugly looking the waters are, or how many alien objects floating over the glorious Sarawak River.. I still enjoy the walk. No matter how many kids loafing and doing their routine lepaking around the entire river side, I still enjoy the walk. And I had deep thoughts. Thoughts about where I am in my life, where I was back then, and how I see myself in the near future. I felt very connected to my feelings as I walk and walk.

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Never mind the sweats and puffs, or aching feet on my worn out shoes, I still walked on. As I constantly looked at the reflections of the waters, I thought of who I have become, what I have achieved, and what I have failed to accomplish. I saw faces, many faces that passed by my life so quickly. I thought of the people that come and go, and what they mean in my life, and the precious moments, no matter how briefly they were spent. I thought of unsettled feelings over things that were left unsolved. I looked back on past arguments with people, the words that we threw at each other, the hurtful ones, the truthful ones, and also, many, many unsaid ones. I remembered the tears that I have seen, and very much also, the tears of my own.


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I walked on, faster. I worried, because I knew the sky grew darker, partly due to the near-sunset time of the day, and also, the brewing storm promised by the black clouds. Gloomy sky, reflected prominently by the waters. Is it not a wonder, how the sky can affect the entire mood and atmosphere? Once the colour of the sky changed, almost everything else changed as well, like the colour in the waters and almost everything that the light touched. This, certainly encouraged even more thoughts. I thought of the things I did, and how they affected everyone around me, and shaping the happenings and events. Some sweet ones, some bitter. Some I try to forget and leave it all behind. Those I could not leave behind, I can only sigh at them.

I walk alone. I always do, and I prefer it so. Those thoughts would not hit me if I were chatting and giggling happily with others around me, and not that the walk would be less enjoyable, but I like the feeling of connectedness with myself, and being able to see things as clear as the reflections of the sky on the water. I smile to myself, sometimes even chuckle. Memories can be both painful and beautiful, but they are my prized possession. I shall hold on to them dearly.

And so I walked on.

9 comments:

  1. i like being alone too at times...but most of the time i prefer being around people, at least one other person... i think it's because i'm not yet comfortable with my surroundings...

    but i agree with you that certain thought won't hit you when you're walking with other people. i suppose that's why they call it "quiet time with yourself". :)

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  2. wei! time to get urself a car liao! saving money for next life issit? hehehe

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  3. hey silveraven,
    yeah, there are times we just need to be alone.. i even enjoy shopping alone, as weird as that sounds. depends on situations lah, of course, ahhahahhaa

    hey wuching,
    ahahaha, like i have any money to save !!

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  4. well.. the pics u take on those long walks alone look fabulous robin. :)

    being alone is my way of spending time to think about myself. to reflect on the past and to dream about the future. being alone is quality time with me. :)

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  5. hey aaron,
    yeah, we only do serious thinking when we are truly alone. and gosh, we tend to discover more things bout ourselves and things that happen around us, if we just stop and think more.

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  6. Gud 4 the environment...and gud exercise too! Keep walking! And sice u're so contemplative, let me join u....
    When u walk thru a storm,
    hold ur head up high
    and don't be afraid of the dark
    ...walk on thru the rain,
    walk on...walk on...
    and you'll never walk alone!
    (PS Disclaimer: I'm not a Liverpool fan!!!)

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  7. hey suituapui,
    hmmm my guess is that somewhere along these lines football is involved.. and I am a total idiot when it comes to soccer/football. I have no idea whatsoever...

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  8. That makes two of us! Can never understand why 22 grown men would run around chasing after one silly ball! Why don't they just buy their own and kick it as much as they want??? And to think that people actually stay up to watch them doing that? Gor...!!!

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  9. hey suituapui,
    ahahahaaa i guess I am one of those weird guys who could never understand football... sigh.. its just horrendous when people come in a group and all they could talk about is football !!! Its torture.. bearing thsoe conversations...

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